Entertainment Tonight

What have Tina Turner, Kylie Minogue and Dita Von Teese got in common? Apart from cracking sets of pins, of course. No idea? Surely it’s obvious! They’ve all been spotted gallivanting around at London Fashion Week, where Dita and a Dior-clad Kyles checked out, well, the latest Christian Dior clobber and Tina took in Giorgio Armani’s new collection. Anne Hathaway was at Armani too, but in a horrible dress so we’re choosing to ignore her.

Meanwhile in neighbouring Germany, Cheryl Cole was wowing all comers with a sterling performance at a music awards show – and apparently using everything she’s learned from Victoria Beckham insodoing. No, we don’t mean she didn’t actually sing, we’re referring to one reflective UK tabloid’s insistence that our Chezza wouldn’t know one end of a Louboutin pump from the other were it not for Posh’s tutelage. Unconvinced, we are.

Talking of style icons, the rumour mill’s been pumping out all manner of tittle-tattle relating to the Sex and the City girls… sorry, ladies. If we’re to believe the latest round of groundless hearsay, the makers of the SatC movies (the second one’s pretty much finished, by all accounts) are anxious to get a third flick in the can as soon as possible – because Sarah Jessica Parker, Kim Cattrall, Cynthia Nixon and Kristin Davis will soon be too long in the tooth to convince us as sophisticated girls-about-town.

We reckon the sadly fictional New Yorkers could teach real-life fashion icons a thing or two, though. Back at Paris Fashion Week, Kate Moss turned up to promote the new line of bags she’s designed for posho label Longchamp and support her mate Stella McCartney. And if our eyes don’t deceive us, La Moss is finally starting to look like she’s in her mid-30s – a blessed relief for those of us who’ve looked 42 since we were about 17…

Even the tiniest glance at the Orange celebrity blog over the last few days would’ve left your eyes overwhelmed with the sheer volume of shapely legs and classy dresses on offer. And, amazingly considering his overbearing presence in the Celebrity Big Brother house, none of them belongs to Alex Reid…

Moving swiftly on from Katie Price’s horrible black faux fur jacket/tiara combo, the real fun was at the 21st birthday party of Frankie Sandford. Whaddya mean you don’t know her from a can of paint? She’s one of The Saturdays! Obviously.

Anyway, the Soho shindig meant the five popstrels were absolutely obliged to throw caution to the wind, rain and snow, obliging us with an exciting array of dresses. The birthday girl wore an LBD, Mollie King went for a black lacy number, while Una Healy took after her Christmas turkey in what looks like silver foil. The other two looked dull so we’ll not waste space on them…

Try as it might, though, Frankie’s party couldn’t quite top the deliciously OTT glam overload at the Golden Globes in Beverly Hills. Who was there? Who wasn’t there! Thankfully not wearing a dress was host Ricky Gervais, but cheerfully frocking up for the evening we spotted Jennifer Aniston and her endless pins.

Also out in force were A-listers such as Valentino, Versace, Yves Saint Laurent, Giorgio Armani and Roberto Cavalli… oh no, wait, those were just the blokes who designed the togs worn by Jen, Christina Aguilera, Julia Roberts, Penélope Cruz and our very own Leona Lewis. Aw, dunnit make you proud – our Hackney gel all grown up.

A rare but welcome menfolk focus for today’s round-up, although it’s fair to say the chaps in question are no strangers to the goss pages.First up is David Beckham, whose otherwise pretty run-of-the-mill appearance on an Italian TV show was notable because the hostess tried to grab his, er, goldenballs.

Why? Only Elena Di Cioccio (for the “handy” presenter was she) knows, but all we can say is that’s definitely not award-winning behaviour and we can’t imagine any UK chat show hosts trying a similar trick. In fact, groping guests was no doubt far from Ant & Dec’s minds during the Britain’s Got Talent auditions in Manchester…

Also keeping their hands to themselves (in public, at least) at the Manchester auditions were Simon Cowell and Piers Morgan, who both fended off the advances of amorous auditionees by, um, looking extremely drab. Only Amanda Holden bothered to glitz it up a bit, and even she looked a bit like a box of tissues…

And we can’t let the biggest alleged “news” of the CENTURY – or “not really news at all, to be honest, but we’re nosy”, depending where you’re standing – go by without comment. Have Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie really split up? Should Bradley get back with Jennifer Aniston? Was Brangelina’s entire relationship really, as one Orange commenter suggests, “a work fling that got out of hand”? And won’t somebody think of the children? Is it any of our frickin’ business either way? We need a lie down after all this speculation…